Whenever I find peers, I realize what I’ve been missing.
What you get there is an example of how to be you. A template.
Many templates simply don’t work for us; the master networker, businesspeople, etc. might not fit.
But when we see others who are succeeding with brains like ours, we can do that. It shows us a translation.
When you are not around peers, you feel that you have to be the best just to do what you know you can, so your rubric is always “do better than the others.”
Around true peers, it is finally ok to be normal.
It’s not so much that the gifted are perfectionists, it’s just that they realize they are typically out of peer groups and have to look to some outside standard (like perfection) to guide them, rather than to settle for the standard of the group.
We want it and we don’t want it, that calmness of being normal, but losing what makes us unique.
Something that can come up when people are identifying as gifted is, are you really gifted enough? Like are my posts intelligent enough? Or people can compete particularly in science and technology.
But giftedness is really more about a brain type than about particular skills, and many people like this simply let certain things go.